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Dear Willie: I left my daughter’s father a year ago thinking it was the best decision I made.
I’m with this guy currently; it’s been a year now and the relationship has been going pretty good so far. The only issue is that I feel insecure. He says he has never cheated. I’ve been through his phone many times and I see a number of messages mainly from women texting him.
I know it’s wrong to do. I’ve also had many conversations with him based on the messages. I haven’t seen any messages where he actually replied, but then again men are sneaky. He says that he wouldn’t leave me for any other girl out there.
He is the man that every girl dreams of: he would not let me leave without saying he loves me and kissing me goodbye. He is very productive. He helps a lot around the house and he is great with my daughter.
Willie I think we can go a long way with our relationship. He has his own business and I try my best to help him out financially. I even bought a vehicle so we can move about and make things a bit easier in our lives. He is the kind of guy that I can do anything for and he would do the same for me.
I’m not sure if he is just using me because I have the money or whether he really wants to be with me. Willie, it’s has been three weeks since we slept next to each other and haven’t been sexually active. I know he is a hard worker and try not to be hard on him, but sometimes I think he is cheating and just making excuses that he is tired.
I feel so insecure that I regularly go through his phone when he is not around. I really love him and I always say to him: if he doesn’t want me he should let me know because I don’t want to be spending my time and money on a guy who just wants to use me.
Dear Miss: You upset my entire afternoon, though I am not surprised. What do some women want? You get a good man – a man that “every girl dreams of”, yet you’re complaining.
Your first sentence had me worried: “I left my daughter’s father a year ago thinking it was the best decision I made.” THINKING IT WAS THE BEST DECISION? Are you implying that you regret leaving your daughter’s father? So, if this new man is every woman’s dream – as you stated – why did you leave your child’s father and enter a new relationship? If you regret leaving your ex, and this new BF is a great man, then your ex must be superman.
Besides him not having sex with you as often as you like, I do not see where the problem is. You’re obviously the problem. And your letter implies that you’re more concerned about your money than the relationship.
And you claimed that you love this man? I don’t think you love him. You’re just wasting the man’s time. You’re treating the man like he is a business – you’re only there for investing.
I won’t apologise but I will say this: many women don’t know what’s good for them or do not know what they want. They’re in an abusive relationship and they leave and return; they get a good man, then they cheat and/or complain.
If you want more sex, just tell the man. I don’t know how old he is. Probably he has low libido as a result of overworking, poor diet, etc. So why not discuss this with him?
I once dated a girl and she told me “you’re too good to be true”. She claims I am too straightforward or I am too honest. But check a few Facebook statuses in the evenings. You will see: “I hate liars”, “I prefer to be hurt by the truth than a lie”. But truth is, the liars are the ones getting the girls. The poor dude doing all he can to make you happy, and you’re going through his phone, questioning him, and despite his positive response and the lack of evidence, you’re still unsure?
This is my advice, leave your man’s contact number and name so I can get a good woman for him. In addition, take back your car and money and feed your baby’s father.
Have an insecure weekend.
Willie
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